Thursday, June 21, 2012

From The Moment I First Saw You

He said, "I was interested in your from the moment I first saw you."
Mr. Caesar and I have been hanging out at least twice a week. I think if I had a lighter schedule we would get together more frequently - he's always asking. But I am feeling conflicted. I told him the other night he is so unconfusing, he is confusing. He said that made no sense. But I know what I mean. He seems to be fairly straight forward, but his actions often trump the things he says. Hell, sometimes he even says one thing and then later says another. Example: he says he's still getting to know me and wants something casual (as do I) and then he talks about us doing things together in the fall. He acts tough, but he says he's afraid of getting hurt. And so far, he has been incredibly sweet. He calls when I'm driving home from work. He calls for no reason and talks to me for an hour. He texts me to tell me to have a good day. I'm not complaining but I haven't really gotten a good idea of what he really means. Is he going to get hurt...or will it be me? We went out to grab a bite last night and on our ride back to his place he told me his ex contacted him saying she misses him. They broke up about a month ago. He told me she was "crazy" and didn't give him room to breathe - she would call him constantly even when she knew he was just at family functions. But then last night after telling me she texted him, he told me he thinks people can change and she was a really nice girl, just messed up. Even said she was cute. I kind of slammed on the breaks. My situation might be messed up, but I don't voice my inner most thoughts to him yet. I can either give him credit for being up front or hold it against him that it seemed to me like he was considering taking her back. This brings me to my biggest issue. Getting into this whole mess, I told him I wanted a friend with benefits. I like his personality. He's fun. I could use a new friend. But I messed that up by getting a crush on him...and sleeping with him only solidified my mistake. Now we are in limbo. He seems to hint that he could see us being together but he also told me he doesn't normally call girls his girlfriend until after quite a while. He even went as far as to say "when I'm attached and thinking about moving in with a girl I'll call her my girlfriend." WHAT THE FUCK? This is ass backwards, is it not?!

1 comment:

  1. He's totally into you :) Congrats!! xx Maybe he doesnt see how it can work out but right now he's yours. If you want him as a bf just be cool about it and tell him that you like him, then tell him a bit more every day if you have to while still letting it evolve at his pace xx

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