Fake Bakin

I am a fair skinned little lady.
I also have dark hair and light eyes.
This makes complexion a real issue.
I go in fazes, switching back constantly between envying fair-skinned chicks and their ability to pull off their milky white complexions. Then spring rolls around and I'm back to envying the sun-kissed skin.

I want to be tan minus the damaging effects of visiting a tanning salon or laying out all day. (Who wants leather skin when they're 40?) So, this leaves me with bronzers and self-tanners. And we all know those come with their fair share of downsides as well. Who wants to look streaky and orange? I'm not about that Snooki look at all.

I've probably tried 80 gagillion different self-tanning creams, gels, sprays, and towelettes. Some are better they others, and they are most certainly not all created equal. Half of them I immediately regretted using - having to put on my largest pair of sunglasses and walking my happy ass to the nearest beauty store for tan remover. Thus wasting upwards of $60. And I'm not rich!

Then I found Famous Dave's Moisture Tan.
Hello, new best friend!
This stuff is pure amazingness in a bottle.
Just to be safe, I applied one small pump to both of my legs. I applied it before bed, it only took a few minutes to dry completely. When I woke up, my legs had a subtle tan. Yes tan. No orange-y hue here. Since I had determined this product wasn't a total bust, I re-applied it to my legs. Then I proceeded to apply it to my entire body, finishing with a quarter pump onto the backs of my hands.

Four hours later and I look healthy and lightly sun-kissed. I am so happy with this product! That is something I have never said about a self-tanner before. I could always find something wrong with them. For a mere $25 a bottle, this stuff definitely can't be beat.

Thanks, Dave! I love my sun-kissed glow!

Save The Drama For Your Mama

I've been majorly MIA for a few months. I gave the "real" relationship one last shot. And as per usual, it ended badly. It takes a lot for me to trust someone fully and I fully understand trust must be earned. However, I am an independent person. I like to have time for myself or out with friends without having the boyfriend tag along behind me like some lost puppy. Finding that happy medium can be extremely difficult.

It proved to be the downfall of my most recent relationship.

I have been tame the past couple of months. I haven't gone out with my girlfriends near enough or gone out to dance. I spent my time with my man or at my home, enjoying alone time. But after a while, that gets old.

This past weekend, I said screw it! I put on my new boots and went out with the girls to a bar. Not even a club. Just a bar for some drinks and much needed catching up. I had no intention of meeting guys or "misbehaving".

But the boyfriend's buddy sent him a text saying he thought he saw me at a club grinding up on some juiced up dude. Then he proceeds to run into my boyfriend's x-best-friend who apparently severely dislikes me. I'm assuming this is due to his lack of communication with her since we got together. Not my problem I can out victorious...

She spent her evening trash talking me and making a scene. While my boyfriend starts questions my intentions while I'm out. All the while unsuspecting old me is having a good time with her girlfriends.

When I came home to find that not only did his buddy find me to be some sort of easy chick, my boyfriend has no trust in me, and his trash-spewing slut of a friend was bad-mouthing me, I was livid.

I hate relationships for this exact type of scenario. I mean, really, people? We have absolutely nothing better to do on a Saturday night but butt into other people's personal business?

This is especially bogus to me considering I was 6 towns over minding my own business.

Needless to say, I have wiped my hands clean of it.

No time for bullshit here!