Monday, November 21, 2011

Getting In Shape

There's nothing like a nasty break-up to make me pick up my diet and exercise habits all over again with a renewed fervor. I like to stay in shape but I'm also a foodie so my mind is constantly warring over what's going to enter my tummy.

The Eat Clean Diet has helped me out tremendously. I just skimmed over the books before. I took the idea and ran with it: eat only natural foods, skip anything with preservatives. I immediately felt better. No tummy aches, no head-aches. And gradually my body adjusted and I lost a few inches around the waist and thighs.

As much as I hate giving up added beauty sleep to cook up a breakfast this has become key in my lifestyle transformation. So has drinking insane amounts of water...and by insane I really mean about 2 liters. Say hello to the bathroom, you'll be visiting it frequently.

And lastly I've trained my friends and family to smack me when I reach for a Ho-Ho or eating an entire block of cheese. Yup, cheese and I have a thing for each other. I'm going to be easing myself into my new routine but I have terrible timing.

The holiday's are right around the corner and I won't be able to forgo pumpkin pie and Christmas cookies so I'm going to be studying up on my diet goals and transitioning into healthy foods with a major goal of a switch-over after New Years.

How do YOU stay in shape?

Friday, November 18, 2011

Naughty Nooners: Bride's Holiday Gift

Six months after the mass human-Terilian weddings of One Thousand Brides and Bride Reborn, Earth woman Janis Stone is consumed with lust for her alien husband Delos. A public exhibition of sex in zero gravity leaves her craving more of his exciting lovemaking.

Janis’ attempted seduction of Delos during a holiday sexual “fast” makes him promise retribution. Payback comes when Janis awakens tied to the bed, about to be pleasured by Delos’ skillful fingers, tongue and cock.

After a steamy encounter, the couple exchange gifts obtained at personal sacrifice. But their greatest gift for each other is love.

This is the third novella in the Star Brides series from Solange Ayre's Naughty Nooners. This short - 29 page - futuristic erotic romance and it is definitely strange and unique. It's essentially light porn with a light plot.

In the 2 books prior to this one, it seems that en route to a new planet the Terilian women all fell ill, and well, died. So the men made a quick pit-stop on planet Earth to kidnap 1000 carefully chosen women. And they like their women plump so apparently Americans were a good choice. I won't comment on how that makes me feel, being American. The women were frightened at first, but quickly adjusted. Shortly after they learned the Terilian men made exceptional lovers.

The entire story takes place on a spaceship which is manned the aliens, Terilians. Terilians are "men" but in the anthropomorphic sense: they have large catlike furry ears and retractable claws. However, their penises seem to resemble their "Earthian" friends. I'm glad for that because if I read anything about furry penises that would have been it for me, folks! The plot centers around what they consider a holiday on their spaceship and the sacrifices the two main characters make for one another.

This is a very light story peppered with tiny tastes of sensual bondage, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. It's not vanilla but it's not too far off. The romanticism throughout the entire story is cute and sort of makes you long for someone willing to sacrifice for you. *ahem* I'm assuming you don't have someone like that because I don't. You're welcome.

"Although Jan had lived on the Terilian spaceship for six months, this was the first time she’d been weightless. Only her magnetic shoes kept her anchored to the floor of the zero-gravity chamber.

The usual awareness of her head, arms and legs, pulled down by gravity, had disappeared. She was left with a strange feeling of giddiness and excitement—although some of that was the prospect of imminent sex with her alien husband."

My thoughts? I can't say I fully enjoyed this short story or that I'd read any more from this series but hey, aliens aren't really my niche. My favorite part of those strange catlike men is that they can't climax until after their woman has. Sounds like a wonderful concept to me!

You can download this book for free at Barnes & Noble.

Sun Is UP

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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Up To Speed

For those of you who so graciously followed me from my lost blog: Diary of a Sugar Babi, I thank you. And you're probably wondering why I fell off the face of the Earth with no explanation at all, and apparently some questionable smut before that.

On one of the last summer days in August, I arrived home to MY apartment where my now ex-boyfriend was found pants down with someone I considered to be my best friend. I mean, this was the lady who was supposed to be my Maid of Honor if I ever gave up and threw in the towel.

Apparently, I was getting way ahead of myself. Because never will I marry OR have her as a MOH. But back to the juicy details. I walked in my door, greeted by a very bewildered French Bulldog, Brewser. I was toting a new slinky black dress for my supposed dinner date with the boyfriend that evening. In the other hand I had Bears tickets for, oh well lets just call him Douchebag, for a few weeks later.

I patted Brewser on his fuzzy little wrinkled cheeks and then I heard a very strange yet familiar noise. The breath caught in my throat and I felt that familiar lump of disappointment in the pit of my stomach. Bags were dropped onto the tile in the foyer as I stormed into MY bedroom which I had so graciously converted into a unisex bed for Douchebag and I. And let me tell you, I did not want to give up my hot pink silk sheets and zebra print rug. (Luckily there were stuffed into my closet...)

The sound of wet slapping and muffled moans erupted from behind the nearly-shut bedroom door. Again, MY fucking bedroom. Apparently, this was my que, some "Welcome Home Honey" that was. I shove the door open, somehow my arms flung up around my chest just in time for Douchebag to turn around and stare at me with that stupid look on his face.

But the worst part was seeing my best friends long blonde hair fanned out over my pillow as she lay on her back like the little whore she is. And I mean it, the girl is a whore, but I had loved her regardless. Not so cute and lovable anymore, however. Words escaped me for what seemed like an eternity. This is what happens when after years you let your guard down.

I could taste the ocean on my lips. Salty tears streamed down my face without consent to be shed. I slammed the door behind myself and went on what can only be described as an all-out rampage. Tables were overturned, his clothes were ripped off hangers and thrown off the balcony in a satisfying stream of blurred colors. Lamps were thrown. Profanities were muttered, rather loudly, all the while. I screamed at them to get out before I get really out of control.

When the door slammed behind them, I sank down against the door and cried. I was angry and hurt and ashamed, stroking Brewser absentmindedly. When the sun sunk down behind the horizon, I finally picked myself up off the floor. Wiped my tears away. I grabbed my bag of that evening's dress, accessories, and sexy underthings and walked to stores downtown to return them. Instead, I bought a super-sized bag of Almond Joys, some coconut vodka, and some iTunes. I stayed in all night crying and shoving candy bars into my face and choking on sweet vodka.

And this, my friends, is why I don't date.

Call Your Girlfriend

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Just once I want to dance like this in a club...just sayin'

*ahem* I'm Back!

Hello there!

Of the bat, thanks to those of you who have kept in contact with me after my ex left my life (and blog) in shambles.  I have brushed the dust of my keyboard and re-entered reality.  I feel refreshed and I'm ready to get back to my old ways of late nights, bad decisions, and dance music.

Without further a due, I welcome you to my newest creation: The Confessions of a Coy Courtesan.

What's in it for you?  Why, lots of juicy gossip, my latest erotica and romance reviews, sex toy reviews, and as always my confessions.

Stay tuned, there's plenty of fun coming your way!

Club Rocker

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Dancing On My Own

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